As heated as the political arena has become, this isn’t the only time our nation was divided. Not too long ago, there was the Great Blue/Gold Dress Debate of 2015. If you’ll recall, the Internet blew up that winter because half the world saw the dress as blue, and the other half saw it as gold.
It took two years for scientists to explain how people could interpret the same color differently. It all depends on how the brain perceives color wavelength. The lighting under which the picture was taken, the angle at which the viewer is looking, the viewer’s environment, and even a person’s viewing history are all factors. In the end, we had a new understanding of how every unique brain interprets colors in different ways.
Some of you already know where I’m going with this.
May I present to you my Top 20 Things We Did NOT Hear During the Great Blue/ Gold Dress Debate and counting (because there is way too much material out there to keep it to 10):
*Disclaimer: I have heard these sentiments from both sides. I am an equal opportunity parodist.*
1. “Wake up, you f*cking idiot! Anyone can see that it’s blue!”
2. “Look…it’s blue. I’ve known my colors since pre-K. I wouldn’t say it was blue unless I knew what I was talking about.”
3. “I’m just checking…you don’t see gold…do you? I’d hate to think you were one of ‘those people.’”
4. “If you think this dress is gold, you’re a bad person.”
5. “You’re not looking at the facts. Your brain is interpreting the photo as more shadowy and compensating for the darker blue tinting, thereby perceiving the blue part as white and the black part as gold. If you can’t see that, you’re in denial.”
6. “Well…I just spring cleaned the gold-dressers from my friends list. If you see gold and I missed you, please delete me right now.”
7. “You know, Hitler thought that dress was gold. Just sayin’.”
8. “IT’S BLUE IT’S BLUE IT’S BLUE I CAN’T HEAR YOU lalalalalalala…”
9. “Oh yeah? I can prove that it’s blue. It’s all right here in www.GoldDressesSuck.com and www.GoldIsTheAntichrist.net. Look it up!”
10. “Can’t you just try to see blue? Look…if you stare hard enough at these stripes, you’ll see an indigo hue. You’ll be cured!”
11. “Well, the fact that you see gold is disappointing, to say the least. I thought you were raised better than that.”
12. “Did you hear about Dave? The Gold Dressers got to him. He’s brainwashed. Don’t try to reason with him–he’s too far gone.”
13. “You didn’t hear this from me–but I showed Judy the dress, and she confessed that she saw gold. And she seemed like such a normal person.”
14. “What color do you see? Gold? Can you look one more time? Please sit down. This is an intervention.”
15. “You know what? I don’t have time for your silly little gold dress narratives. You’re living in a fantasy world. We’re done here.”
16. “Well, we lost another one. One of my smartest friends has gone over to the side of the Gold Dresses. Has the world gone mad? We’re doomed!”
17. “You know, the gold dresses were manufactured by kittens in a Chinese sweatshop. But hey, you’ve gotta vote your conscience.”
18. “You wanna tell me one more time what color you see? Gold? What if I hold your face up to it like this? Huh? Still seein’ gold, ya little gold-diggin’ blue-denier?”
19. “I won’t rest until you stop lying about this whole gold thing. I will bring you to the land of the blue-seers. It’s my patriotic duty.”
20. “Well, that settles it. Snopes just said blue. Don’t you feel foolish?”
To the contrary, when a person who saw a blue dress collided with a person who saw gold, they were fascinated with each other’s differences. They tried to understand it. They agreed to disagree. They stayed friends. They moved on.
Perhaps it would have been easier to understand each other had they seen the same color. Conversation about that dress would have been effortless. But it sure as hell wouldn’t have been as interesting.
