Can a middle-aged woman pull off leopard print or snakeskin without resembling Peg Bundy?

…all this time, these things came with instructions.

Now, if they’d only explain how to lick a finger with a mask on, my grocery time would be cut in half.

After a live AC/DC performance (my own), it occurred to me that I am incapable of pronouncing “dynamite” with an “a.”