…a cute little play on syntax that should never be uttered by the guy with sweat stains under his arms stocking the seasonal aisle at Walmart.
My Nonsensical Thought of the Day
How to make your workday go faster
There’s something about being in the water that makes kids crazy. And when your kids are already crazy to start with, it can put them over the top.
During our Sunday afternoon ritual at the YMCA, Tyler was repeatedly smacking a beach ball down on the surface of the water, much to the annoyance of the surrounding swimmers.
Just before I intervened, the 17-year-old lifeguard blew his whistle and bellowed, “Stop smacking your ball!”
Somewhere in the distance, I heard Beavis and Butthead laughing.
Quick to bounce back, Tyler acquired a nearby noodle and began to sword fight with his friend Connor. Eventually, he resumed beating the surface of the water, creating a rainstorm effect.
Again, the whistle. Across the public pool filled with splashing children, uppity moms in Speedo sport swimwear and bleachers lined with spectators, the lifeguard rebuked, “STOP SLAPPING THE NOODLE!”
And then, I saw it. He sat back in his chair, quietly looked around, and smirked to himself.
I’m taking tips from that lifeguard. He knows how to take a mundane job and make it far more entertaining.
Tweet this!
My friend Katina thinks that I should tweet. On one hand, I suppose it’s high time that I’ve twet. It’s not that I’ve never twitted before…I twate twice last year but haven’t twaten since. They say twitting is fun, but last night it took me twenty minutes to compose a single twit.
And with that, I’m all twat out.
I’d be honored if you’d follow me on Twitter: https://twitter.com/merripetrovits
Hashtag…you’re it.
Today’s analogous observation:
…suggesting to a whining preschooler that she’s overtired ignites the same reaction as asking an irritable bitch if she’s on the rag.
Sometimes I see so much of myself in my daughters it moves me to dysmenorrhoea. I get all cramped up just thinking about it.