(1) He who is bold enough to cut you off in high-speed traffic shall never have the balls to travel more than 15 mph.
(2) Whenever you wind up behind a car with Florida plates, insert white flag through sunroof. You’re going to be late for that appointment.
(3) Children seated close enough to touch elbows are more hazardous to driving conditions than a liter of hard alcohol, six inches of sleet and hail, an airbag in the face and a bout of narcolepsy.
Happy travels.