Remember how cats in cartoons used to wake up when startled out of their sleep? You ought to see my ceiling after years of beeping alarm clocks and clock radios.
My solution: the all-in-one Smart alarm clock with 23 soothing nature sounds to choose from, along with a warm 10-color LED sunrise simulator.
I set it last night for 5 a.m. and drifted asleep in anticipation of waking to a soothing waterfall in the Amazon rainforest.
Sometime during the course of the night, my Smart clock decided to convert to military time, just in case I needed to brush up on my basic math every time I got up to pee.
Of course, one doesn’t understand military time when one snaps awake at fifteen hundred-something hours. Bleary-eyed, I squinted at the clock, registered it as 5:23, rolled out of bed, stumbled wearily throughout the house and slammed down a cup of coffee before discovering it was actually 3:37 a.m.
(But 15 hundred hours is in fact 3 p.m., not a.m., you say? I didn’t figure that out until many hours later.)
When your Smart technology outsmarts you before you even get out of bed in the morning, it’s best just to call it a day.