Rumor has it that before each register at the Walmart in Simsbury, there are display cases of “pajama jeans,” made with a DormiSoft fabric that feels like sleepwear but with a designer look too good to be hidden under the covers, for only $39.99. Had I seen them for myself and purchased them, I might have ripped the box open, put them on, lay down on one hip like Brooke Shields and droned, “Nothi…ng comes between me and my Calvins.” A reliable source swears they feel just like a second skin with a stretchy waistband that will forgive you for every fatty morsel you ate the night before. What’s more, I have this friend who confessed that with pajama pants in her wardrobe, she could potentially roll right out of bed and drop her kids off at school wearing the same clothes she slept in, and no one would be the wiser.
I should find friends with more fashion sense than that. These people could ruin my image.