The fruit flies have invaded my house in swarms.

For the past thirty-six hours, I have been watching their pitiful struggle on a strip of Black Flag fly paper.

Today I learned they have a three-day life cycle, which means already they’ve spent half their lives—the pinnacle of their careers, the grandparent years, self-actualization and retirement in my banana bowl—stuck knee-deep in adhesive goo.

And you thought you were having a bad weekend.