There is a war raging inside me: antibiotics vs. probiotics. In the meantime, I am in the hands of a medical team of three: the first, armed with a hammer, checks the reflexes in my head; the second searches for a heartbeat in my foot; and third shoves a thermometer in my mouth, yelling “Show me your tonsils!” I fight a good fight, just like a valiant fleet of bacteria standing in the face of penicillin. I am doomed.