While listening to Hayley’s version of Lady Gaga’s “You and I” on American Idol this week, I felt compelled to reflect on the top 10 things that annoy me most about popular music new and old. As it turns out, I couldn’t narrow it down to 10. Here are the 12 things that are most definitely NOT music to my ears:
12) Angst-ridden songs about sorrow and hardship belted out by millionaires (everything out of Aaron Lewis’s mouth)
(11) When a peaceful ballad suddenly explodes into rap (Dido is to Eminem as “thank you” is to drowning pregnant girlfriend in trunk)
(10) Bad grammar for the sake of rhyme (“Open up your morning light, and say a little prayer for I…”)
(9) Songs resonating with British accents (“I get knocked down, but I get up again…”)
(8) Songs that ooze with Kumbaya (“Shiny happy people holding hands…”)
(7) Anything that attracts boot-clad college girls with cowboy hats (i.e., all country music)
(6) Lyrics which force me to answer difficult questions (“Mama, what’s a vertical stick?”)
(5) Misused literary techniques (It’s not irony, Alanis. It’s a bum deal.)
(4) Songs that ridicule teachers and/or education (Pink Floyd and Slim Shady, you’re on my list)
(3) The repetition of a string of nonsensical words from beginning to end (In-a-Gadda-Da-Vida baby, rama oh ma ma, um bop, need I go on?)
(2) Narcissistic singers. (One word: Fergalicious)
(1) A culmination of twenty-plus minutes of “na, na, na na na” (Train and Journey are but two bands who climbed aboard with Beatles on that one.
Oh, and Ms. Gaga, I beg to differ…there’s something about baby you and ME.