After decades of grappling over signs, directions and shampoo bottles, it’s finally happened. We’ve gone and learned too much Spanish. In response, the warning on my kid’s Jump-o-lene comes in 25 languages, from French to Swahili. It’s like a modern-day Tower of Babel conspiracy, and I’m not sure who’s behind it—the Government or Toys “R” Us. We will get to the bottom of it, de un modo u otro.