Three items on the application form for the Farmington Public Schools:

(1) List all professional organizations with which you are affiliated.

(2) Name two educational periodicals you read regularly.

(3) Name three books you’ve read for pleasure in the past year.

My response to each, typed with one hand and a three-year-old tugging at the other, a four- and a six-year-old fighting to the death, two dogs barking and two cats weaving between my feet: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!