A letter to my son’s kindergarten teacher-to-be

Last week I received an introductory letter from Tyler’s kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Warren.  This year is Simsbury’s first year of full-day kindergarten, and the teacher seemed excited about her new class.  In the letter, she provided a bright and cheery introduction, tips for making the transition into the new school year, and a list of supplies to bring with them on the first day of school.

By the end of the letter, I was sobbing.  As in, tear drops all over the page. If a letter is all it takes to move me to tears, you can imagine the scene when the bus pulls up in front of our house.

I decided to write a letter back to Mrs. Warren with my own list of supplies for her to have at the ready when I turn my son over to her care for the first time:

(1) a three-pack of Puff’s Plus;

(2) a CD of John Lennon’s “Beautiful Boy”;

(3) a tear-stained copy of “Chicken Soup for the Mother’s Soul”;

(4) a handful of antidepressants;

(5) a bottle of jagermeister (to wash down the antidepressants);

(6) bandages for my blisters (from chasing after the bus);

(7) a straight jacket;

(8) a restraining order;

(9) a glass of ice water (to splash in my face); and

(10) the back of her hand (to slap me when I become hysterical).

The big day is August 29. Wish me luck! (Oh, and Tyler, too.)

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