After the UPS guy dropped off a package on our front porch…
Tyler: “Look, Mama, the man in the brown truck brought me another present!”
Me: “It’s not a present. That’s for me.”
Tyler: “What is it?”
Me: “Computer parts. Mine is broken.”
Tyler: “It’s a really big box.”
Me: “The computer has a LOT of parts.”
Tyler: “It has Mickey Mouse ears on it!”
Me: “That’s not Mickey Mouse. It’s a mouse for a computer. It’s a symbol.”
Tyler: “It says ‘Disney store’ on it!”
Me: “Dammit! Who taught you how to read?”
Eva (lunging at the box): Look, Mama! It’s Tinkerbell’s shadow!
Me: DON’T OPEN THAT!
The next holiday challenge: how to inflict amnesia on the children before they open all that is Phineas, Nemo, Toy Story and Winnie the Pooh come Christmas morning.
Walt Disney Co., I thank you for your discretion.