The minivan is an underachiever.

Today I looked at the speedometer and discovered it goes up to 130 miles per hour. If you see the trail of a silver Kia doing sick donuts in the Stop & Shop parking lot, sweet jumps in front of Bed, Bath & Beyond, and burnouts all the way through the Walgreen’s pharmacy drive-thru, get out of the way. We’re making up for lost time.