I could use a little help here…

Recently a friend of mine reminded me of the black leather pants I wore to a Motley Crue concert three kids ago.  Just for haha’s, I pulled them out of the back of my closet and tried them on.  I am pleased to announce I am wearing them as we speak!

Incidentally, does anyone have a crowbar, wire cutter, sandblaster and/or electric chainsaw I can borrow?  Please, no questions.