While deactivating my Facebook account two months ago, I was asked to check off a box explaining why. Seeing how none of the reasons applied, I decided to rewrite them. May I present to you my top 10 reasons for leaving Facebook…
#10: Found myself talking in acronyms
#9: Kids were hungry and dirty as I watched video clips of your cats dancing around poles
#8: Found myself constantly wondering what flavor latte you all were sipping
#7: Couldn’t stop referring to myself in third person
#6: Was having reoccurring nightmares that I couldn’t make it from A building to B building in four minutes
#5: Poking liability insurance becoming too costly
#4: CL&P stopped taking my Farmville credits
#3: During conversation, people became confused each time I shouted “like” and gave them a thumbs-up.
#2: Needed therapy after a series of rejected friend requests. Discovered it’s not acceptable to deliver them with flowers.
#1: No Hall & Oates or Air Supply links of my wall for six months. That’ll teach Beach for slacking off!