The Top 10 Reasons I Left Facebook (for two months, at least)

While deactivating my Facebook account two months ago, I was asked to check off a box explaining why. Seeing how none of the reasons applied, I decided to rewrite them. May I present to you my top 10 reasons for leaving Facebook…

#10: Found myself talking in acronyms
#9:   Kids were hungry and dirty as I watched video clips of your cats dancing around poles
#8:   Found myself constantly wondering what flavor latte you all were sipping
#7:   Couldn’t stop referring to myself in third person
#6:   Was having reoccurring nightmares that I couldn’t make it from A building to B building in four minutes
#5:  Poking liability insurance becoming too costly
#4:  CL&P stopped taking my Farmville credits
#3:  During conversation, people became confused each time I shouted “like” and gave them a thumbs-up.
#2:  Needed therapy after a series of rejected friend requests. Discovered it’s not acceptable to deliver them with flowers.
#1:  No Hall & Oates or Air Supply links of my wall for six months.  That’ll teach Beach for slacking off!